Saturday, November 15, 2014

17%

The first day I met Tim was 345 days ago. In some ways it feels like I've known him a lifetime, in others it just feels like I met him yesterday. In our first year together we have spent 61 days in the same place..or 17% of the year. We have missed holidays, birthdays, events, promotions, and getting to come home every day to your partner and best friend.

We happen to be very lucky considering our situation. There are many people with spouses or significant others that are deployed overseas for the military or people like us, but don't have the job flexibility or finances to see each other (thank you Tim's job for the flexibility and vacation time!..and I'm not sure we really have the finances but we make it work). 

The 17% of the year I've spent with Tim have been the absolute best days of my life. Although we are both typically really, really excited to see each other, usually after an hour we calm down and act like totally normal people. I take off my makeup, wear my ugly pjs, and snore all night like no time has passed at all. I've learned that in this situation that's all you can do to try to have some semblance of a normal relationship. I know when it comes down to it my relationship isn't masked by these fun and exciting trips we take because at the end of the day I'm just my normal self with my normal boyfriend. Unfortunately for Tim, I have even worked 2 of the 3 times he's come to see me, so there's not a lot of glamour to hide in there. 

And the 83% of the time he's not here? Well I would be lying if I said those days were all hearts, sunshine, and rainbows. I try to go on as I normally would; going to work, hanging out with friends and family, and having a routine. Unfortunately even when I have a great day, I still end the day wishing Tim was here. I've spent 83% of my year feeling like half of me is missing, not having my favorite person to come home and chat about my day with. I spend a lot of time anticipating the next visit, a lot of time planning out what we want to get done together, and even some nights a lot of time crying. Crying because I miss him, crying because I'm frustrated that it doesn't seem fair, crying because I have so many hoops I'm going to need to jump through to be with the man I love.

Luckily for me when I look back at the year the 17% stands out the most, and I wouldn't trade that time for anything in the world.